Vanessa Mancilla: The story of a survivor who will soon become a mother
Vanessa Guadalupe Coronado Mancilla is 25 years old and was born in Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. For the past five years, she has dedicated her life to supporting children with cancer through her work, vocation, volunteering, and profession.
Currently, she has expanded her dedication to include children with life-limiting and/or life-threatening illnesses in palliative care, as well as survivors of childhood cancer. She is a nurse in the palliative care program of Canica A.C., an association that took her in when she was a patient.
Additionally, she is a co-founder of the Red Faros de Vida, which connects survivors from various Latin American countries, and she is part of the fundraising team for Canica. She has also implemented programs for the follow-up and support of childhood cancer survivors in Mexico.
What was your diagnosis? How old were you when you were diagnosed?
At 12 years old, I was diagnosed with ovarian dysgerminoma, a type of malignant ovarian tumor.
Can you tell us about the oncology treatment you received? What do you remember about your treatment?
This diagnosis was a difficult moment for me and my family, but it also marked the beginning of my new life. Initially, I was told that my cancer was at stage 3 out of 5, and I was scheduled for at least a year of chemotherapy. Fortunately, only four cycles of chemotherapy were necessary. It all started with surgery to remove the tumor in my ovary, which weighed 3.8 kg. Along with the tumor, my right ovary had to be removed, as well as cysts from the left ovary and a bit that had spread to the intestine. I remember there were very uncertain and confusing moments, like the names of the chemotherapies I received, which I can't recall. However, I always maintained a positive attitude, even though it was a very tiring journey. It seemed like my entire life would be injections, hospital visits, dietary restrictions, and the inability to do what my peers were doing. Despite these difficulties, my experience taught me the importance of resilience and hope.
How has your experience with childhood cancer influenced your perspective on life and the decisions you have made so far?
Undoubtedly, I wouldn't be the same person if this illness hadn't come into my life. Cancer has helped me become more resilient and to give my best every day. It has taught me to value each day of life, to live it intensely, to love people more, and to cherish every moment with them. Since then, I've understood that nothing is guaranteed and that we don't know when our time will come. Therefore, it is crucial to do what we enjoy most and what makes us happy. This experience has shaped my decisions, leading me to dedicate my life to helping others and living with gratitude. But I've also realized that I don't have the responsibility to always be happy or to take on extra burdens for having been cured. It's important to allow myself to have sad days and moments when I don't give 100%. In the end, the most important thing is to do what truly makes me feel happy and comfortable with myself.
What do you believe was the most important factor in your recovery and maintaining a positive attitude during treatment?
Knowing that, no matter how difficult the journey, I had a family that supported me and did everything possible for me to live another day. Knowing I had more love than cancer was crucial. I understood that I couldn't control what life threw at me, but I could control how I lived each day. The motivation that my attitude could lighten the load and make my family happier kept me positive. Besides my family, having the support of Canica was crucial. Being surrounded by such a large support network as a civil association allowed me to feel accompanied and transform those uncertain moments into moments of hope and happiness. Although I have many difficult memories, most of them are of happy moments with friends, trips, and laughter thanks to Canica.
What role did your family and friends play in your recovery process, and how have they supported you in this new stage of your life?
As I mentioned before, my family was my fundamental pillar. I know that without them and my friends from Canica, I wouldn't be who I am today. They have been the people who have been by my side throughout this process and to this day. I can always count on them, and I know they genuinely rejoice in my achievements. I greatly enjoy being able to get together with them and remember those stories that are now precious memories.
What has been the biggest challenge you have faced in your post-cancer life?
I think the word that encompasses this answer is social reintegration. Ending a lifestyle so focused on being a cancer patient and then integrating into a normal life, where total independence is expected, has been difficult. Going through such an intense process and then facing the transition without a clear guide of what would come next has been a challenge. Additionally, physical sequelae such as joint pain, memory problems, anxiety, depression, and fatigue have significantly impacted my ability to regain a normal pace of life. It has also been difficult to empathize with people whose concerns and priorities may seem more superficial compared to my deeper and more meaningful perspective on life. Above all, one of the most challenging aspects has been dealing with the aftermath of my fertility. Accepting the reality that I might not be able to become a mother and the lack of guidance on how to handle this situation has been particularly hard.
Did you ever think you could be a mother?
After my diagnosis and treatment, I faced the painful reality of the impact on my fertility. For 12 years, I lived with the idea, reinforced by doctors, that I wouldn't be able to be a biological mother. This was hard to accept, especially in romantic relationships, where I had to explain that it wouldn't be possible. However, I always held onto hope and was willing to do everything I could to explore other options and make it happen.
What did you feel when you discovered you were pregnant?
When I discovered my baby was on the way, it was an extremely impactful moment for me. After 12 years of living with the idea that I wouldn't be a biological mother, receiving the news unexpectedly and naturally was truly surprising. Initially, I experienced deep fear due to the potential complications given my medical history. However, this new era in my life has been one of fulfillment and happiness. It feels like a reward for all the obstacles I've faced and makes every day of my life worth it. A fundamental part of this process has been the support of my partner, who always showed me unconditional love and that the initial inability to be parents wasn't an obstacle for our love and happiness together. Now, we are enjoying this gift that life has given us together, and I feel deeply grateful. This experience has taught me that a diagnosis doesn't define who we are and that there is always hope.
Do you believe there is a prejudice regarding parenthood for cancer survivors?
Yes, absolutely. I believe there is a prejudice regarding parenthood for cancer survivors. Undergoing such toxic treatment and complicated surgical interventions can lead to these consequences. Many times, decisions are made for us because most of us are still children, and it seems that the only thing that matters at those times is saving our lives. However, growing up and becoming adults responsible for our daily lives, making decisions about parenthood can be complicated and confusing, as cancer becomes a permanent reminder. Fortunately, medicine is advancing, and now there are options like fertility preservation of ovaries and sperm. This allows survivors, when they become adults, to make informed decisions about whether they want to become parents. I believe it is crucial to give more voice and attention to this issue, as facing this reality can lead to emotional problems like anxiety and depression.
What lessons learned from your cancer experience would you like to pass on to your child?
I think this is a difficult question for me, as I never thought it would be necessary to reflect on this. However, what I most want for my baby is to convey the importance of resilience and inner strength. Through my experience with cancer, I learned to face challenges with courage and to find light even in the darkest moments. I want to teach my child the importance of valuing each day of life and living with gratitude, appreciating the small moments of happiness and connection. I hope my child can understand the value of empathy and caring for others without waiting for extreme situations to happen in their life to be understanding, that they know adversities can be overcome with determination and support, and that there is always hope even in the most challenging circumstances. Additionally, I would like to instill the value of unconditional love and family support, which were fundamental to me during my recovery process. I want my child to know that we are united as a family, overcoming any challenge together. In summary, to always guide them towards a life full of love and happiness, to support them in doing what makes them happiest, and to help them see the things that truly matter in life, but above all, to make them feel all the love in this world and the desire to enjoy every day.
Have you found support in groups of cancer survivors? What has that experience been like?
Yes, definitely. I have found invaluable support in groups of cancer survivors. Building a community with people who have faced challenges as difficult as mine has been fundamental to my recovery and social reintegration process. In these spaces, I can feel safe to share my experiences, be heard, and receive emotional support. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone and to exchange experiences and advice on how to handle the challenges that arise after cancer. For me, these groups are not only a place for emotional support but also a source of inspiration and motivation. It is gratifying to share my experiences and learn from the achievements and challenges of other survivors. I firmly believe that all survivors need these spaces where we can recharge our energy.